Many people have been unable to work since the start of the pandemic, and Nikki Mosher is eager to share how glad she is to be back at work at DAC. “Money is good!” she says.

Nikki is currently working at DAC five mornings a week. She and her husband, Brock, are replenishing their checkbook and saving some money for the future. Nikki and Brock have been married for eleven years. Brock is working one day a week at Ocean Sushi, but is hoping to get more hours. After work, she and Brock like to hang out outside. If the weather is bad, they stay home in their duplex at Iverson, where they watch television, read, and catch up on housework, like laundry. On Thursdays, Brock does the grocery shopping for the week with support from staff.

With her return to work, Nikki has enjoyed being able to see some of her friends again, which has been a problem during the pandemic. She says there are fewer people at work these days, whereas there used to be a lot more. There are also extra steps to help them stay safe, like wearing masks and keeping six feet apart.

Though she is glad to be back, she is hoping that the pandemic will be over soon too. She is eager for her family’s schedule to go back to normal and is looking forward to seeing more of her friends again.

After quite a long break staying home due to the pandemic, David Beck is happy to be back at his job at Watlow. He says that Watlow was glad to see him back, too. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, he and his wife, Laura, take a transit bus to ORC before heading to Watlow in the ORC van. David and his friends have ORC job coaches with them at work.

Things have certainly changed at work because of the pandemic, Dave shares. Fewer people can be at a work table at the same time, and the tables are wiped down often. When they arrive at work, they have their temperatures taken and they have to wear a mask or shield. He typically goes to the company cafeteria for break and lunch. It has four TVs, pop, and snack machines, but David brings his own lunch. Dave and his wife work until the early afternoon, then they take the transit bus downtown before heading home.

When at home, Dave and Laura like to hang out outside when the weather is nice. If they are inside, they enjoy watching TV. David’s favorite programs are Adam-12 and Andy Griffith. Laura likes 90 Day Fiancé and Love After Lockup, but they will watch each other’s favorites.

David and Laura have a black cat named Salem. Salem has a checkered past, having stolen a donut from his previous owner, and then hiding under the Christmas tree. When his former owner got two dogs, Salem suddenly didn’t fit into the picture, so he happily moved in with David and Laura.

They take turns cooking. Laura might make pizza one night, and David might make spaghetti and meatballs the next. Early on during the pandemic, HCO handled the grocery shopping, however, David has now resumed making up the list and doing the shopping himself like he used to, with support from staff.

David and Laura are really looking forward to the end of the pandemic when they can go out to restaurants again. They used to like to go to Winona Family Restaurant for dinner and HyVee for breakfast, where David likes the French toast and Laura likes the eggs and hash browns. They also really miss walking to the Bar in Goodview for dancing to their favorite band, Troubleshooter.

David hopes that the pandemic will be over by next year. When there is a vaccine, he says he will gladly stand in line to get a shot if it means going back to normal life.

Hunger is a deterrent to learning for children. The National School Lunch Program has been providing free or low-cost, nutritional lunches to school children whose families are in need since 1946. However, teachers and school administrators have noticed that kids are lethargic or will say they are hungry. This led to the conclusion that certain children haven’t had enough to eat over the weekend.

To alleviate the problem of children not getting the food they need when school is not in session, many communities have begun the Backpack Project. Nondescript backpacks are filled with nutritious, child-friendly, easy-to-prepare food, then picked up by children in the program on Fridays as they leave school. The bags are returned empty on Monday mornings.

It was estimated that there are 300 or so children in the Lewiston-Altura area who are eligible to receive the backpacks, including children from L-A Elementary School, L-A Middle School, St. John’s Lutheran School, and Immanuel Lutheran – Silo School. Planning for the Backpack Project in had started in June, with help from Channel One Regional Food Bank and HCO individuals.

HCO’s Lewiston program loves to support their friends and fellow community members, so all are excited about the project. Staff members Rhiannon and Derek, along with program resident, Donna, attended a preliminary planning meeting with the team working on the Backpack Project. Donna listened intently to the discussion, but was silent until the Crossings Center groundskeeper mentioned that the only bathrooms at the Center are porta potties, with one composting toilet. That elicited a response from Donna, who said, “Geez!” Everyone laughed, probably thinking the same thing!

The program started the first weekend in October. Donna has been filling the backpacks each Wednesday at the Crossings Center, a historic farm site in the heart of Lewiston that has been turned into a community and youth center. After the bags are packed, they are delivered to the elementary school, which is in charge of getting them to the children whose families have chosen to be a part of the program. During the holidays or long weekends such as MEA, there are potential plans for a Kwik Trip voucher to be added to each bag for a gallon of milk.

Since the Crossings Center driveway and parking lots are entirely gravel, Rhiannon asked the team if it would work for HCO to fill the backpacks at home once winter comes and snow will make navigating gravel walks very difficult. The plan was approved.

Now that the backpack program has already started, there are hopes that more kids will sign up once the word gets out about it more. Any family who qualifies for free lunches with a district Educational Benefits (Free and Reduced Lunch) form also qualifies for this program.

Ross (right) with Iverson Court Staff, Trent (left)

Congratulations to Ross Horstman for being acknowledged as the 2019 Iverson Court Tenant of the Year! Ross’ time at Iverson has helped him grow tremendously. He often spends time in the community room in the evenings, engaging with building management and fellow tenants alike. If someone ever has a bad day, Ross has a way of lifting up their spirit and making them laugh. His incredible sense of humor, knowledge of a wide variety of subject areas, delicious baked treats, and genuine interest in family history, are things he is always willing to share with others.

When Ross wanted to increase his knowledge, he worked to secure a new job based on his education and studies at the technical college. Ross’ desire to be as independent as possible is demonstrated by his strong work ethic, attention to detail, willingness to make connections with other tenants, and the confidence to speak from the heart with building staff on a variety of issues.

An exceptional tenant in 2019, Ross routinely kept his apartment clean without assistance, followed lease rules, met with Iverson Court management to complete necessary paperwork, and utilized support staff routinely when needed. Congratulations, Ross, on being named Iverson Court’s 2019 Tenant of the Year!

Fisher Family: Josh, Pam, Sarah, Kevin (left to right), and youngest, Zach (center front)

Zach Fisher turned eleven in May and has been receiving services from HCO for a little over 2 years. Zach is the youngest of three children of Pam and Kevin Fisher. His siblings are quite a bit older. Josh is 20, and Sarah, 18, just graduated from high school.

Zach was a healthy baby, progressing in all areas until he began to regress at the age of about fifteen months and lost all of his speech. Pam and Kevin felt lost as to what to do for him. Pam began to research his symptoms and talk to other parents. Eventually, she found a group of parents to connect with and began to learn about options for Zach. She and Kevin became friends with the other and have also found help from Facebook groups dedicated to parents of children with autism.

Gundersen Clinic in La Crosse offered diagnostic services, but didn’t have a program for Zach. Pam researched many agencies looking for help for Zach’s autism and ADHD. The Fishers found Partners in Excellence, an autism therapy center in La Crosse that offered treatment programs for children with autism from ages 1 – 10 on an outpatient basis. Zach was there from about the age of 2 until 8.

At the same time that they were adjusting to his autism diagnosis, Zach was showing signs of food sensitivities and reflux. It was trial and error for a while until they discovered he was sensitive to gluten, dairy, and certain dyes used in foods. To simplify their meal times, the rest of the family adapted to Zach’s food restrictions.

Even with the outpatient program and school services that Zach received, the Fishers were still on 24/7 duty in the evenings and weekends to care for their son. Pam and Kevin both work full-time, so they learned to rely on and support each other, taking turns caring for Zach. Their families both live further away in Chicago and Prairie du Chien, but their daughter was able to help out, and Kevin’s sister from Chicago came to watch Zach so they could go on a family vacation.

Zach receives special education services from the La Crescent-Hokah School System, where the program is centered around the individual child. In the summer, he attends summer school 3 times a week in June, July, and August. School helps to fill Zach’s sensory needs, and Pam and Kevin have seen much progress over the years. He is good at physical things (he loves to swim and go to the park) and engages at school. His para at school uses sign language, and Zach also communicates through picture exchange.

When the county finally assessed Zach, they told the Fishers about HCO, and they found that the organization could fill almost all their needs. Now, Zach receives support from Home and Community Options staff at HCO’s Children’s Resource Home. Pam and Kevin are able to go on mini-vacations while staff help Zach with activities of daily living and takes him to swim and swing at the park. “We know he’s in good hands,” Pam and Kevin shared.

All of the Fishers are thrilled that they discovered HCO. Staff always greet Zach with a smile when he arrives, and work with him on his communication skills. They’ve noticed that repetition is the key for Zach, and Pam says Program Supervisor, Abby Jackson, is amazing. Zach’s receptive speech has improved. They also like that with HCO, everyone is on the same page. They can communicate by phone or email, have an annual meeting with HCO, or meet any time something may come up.

Zach has become more independent and plays computer games, watches YouTube, listens to music, and can find Sesame Street on TV. Pam also suspects that Zach can read the subtitles on movies. She is hoping that typing and typewritten material will open up a whole new world for him.

“We are so fortunate to have found HCO,” Pam says.

Hannah (center), with parents Kim and Pete

Parents know that they need to be hyper-vigilant with their young children. It only takes a second for a child to get into trouble. Kim and Pete Schwab understand more about hypervigilance than most parents.

Kim and Pete have two children. Their oldest, Katie, is a social worker who is married with a daughter. Their youngest is Hannah, who is 27 years old. Hannah has been living in an HCO home with three housemates since August of 2018. She is generally happy, willing to go anywhere, has an infectious laugh, and is very loving. Her ability to be affectionate with people she is familiar with developed when she was about 11 years old, when she unexpectedly began to recognize certain people as ones she loves.

Hannah has been diagnosed with chronic encephalopathy. She was declared healthy at birth, but her mother noticed early on that Hannah couldn’t hold her head up by herself. Feeding her was difficult and time-consuming since she had limited sucking reflex. At three months old, Hannah was referred to Gundersen Clinic for further observation and testing. Her feet and legs were not growing normally, so she began years of physical therapy. Many medical professionals predicted that Hannah would always be on a feeding tube and would never walk.

When she was around six years old, Hannah’s parents hired caretakers for Hannah to come into their home. For many years, she had the same caretaker, Susan Sagan, who was a godsend, Kim says. After that, the Schwab’s found wonderful help from nursing students at Winona State University, and from Viterbo in Brownsville. Nursing students loved working with Hannah’s easy-going personality.

Hannah, although in her late twenties, has the comprehension of a 1 ½- to 2-year-old girl. It is largely due to the Schwabs’ determination that Hannah is not on a feeding tube and can walk with a little help. One doctor, Dr. Wintersteen, believed what Kim and Pete believed, that Hannah would learn to walk. She helped them work towards that goal, and she did learn to walk at age 11.

When Kim and Pete moved the family to Brownsville, Hannah worked with ABLE (A Brighter Living Environment) and moved into an ABLE home in Caledonia at the age of 21. They, too, were determined to see Hannah’s abilities grow.

Hannah has had six orthopedic surgeries, requiring casts on both legs and feet that had to be kept on for 6-8 weeks. She has received extensive occupational therapy, as well as therapy for feeding issues and helping her to use her hands.   She also received equine-assisted therapy at Winona’s Big Valley Ranch. A horse’s gait moves the rider’s hips and pelvis in the same way humans move to walk, promoting strength, balance, and flexibility in the rider, as well as a sense of how to move oneself forward.

Kim and Pete have always kept Hannah active, pulling her in a cart behind their bikes or putting her in a backpack on hikes. She loves the outdoors and especially loves going out on the river. She revels in the noise, speed, and wind of the moving boat, which she likes to be driven fast! The family also goes on short and long vacations. They have been to Florida many times, as well as San Antonio and Albuquerque, and are planning a trip to New Orleans.

The only restrictions to Hannah’s activities have to do with weather. Cold weather is off limits, as Hannah refuses to wear a hat or mittens. She likes to have her hands free. In hot weather, she can become overheated and ill.

These days, Hannah can walk for thirty minutes by herself at her own pace. She likes to ride her bike, play catch, and swing on swings. She needs someone with her at all times, however, due to poor balance on uneven surfaces, such as changes to and from carpeting, thresholds, and turns. Hannah has cortical blindness that renders her almost totally blind at times and gives her limited vision at others. She has to be helped up and down curbs and steps. Sometimes she walks with a walker or pushes her wheelchair or a shopping cart. She does not have a developed sense to catch herself when she falls, so caretakers must be vigilant.

Now the Schwab’s are moving back to Winona, and Hannah is living in an HCO home. She is learning to eat more things. Continued problems with chewing and swallowing, plus reflux, as well as having no pincher grasp means that she has to be spoon-fed. She likes salty things, especially chips, which is something she can feed herself if they are bite size.  She can pick up food using her whole palm of her hand.  Her reflux is under control, but she needs to be encouraged to be hydrated and will only eat and drink if seated at a table. Up until the age of 15, she didn’t seem to register either hunger or thirst.

Hannah’s sense of hearing is sharp. She enjoys listening to television and playing with toys that make noise. She also likes her radio, which she can operate by herself by pressing a switch in her room, giving her independence and choice. Her favorite music is country, which Kim says was introduced to Hannah by a caregiver. Kim says she and Pete weren’t country music lovers before, “but we sure are now!” Hannah’s favorite country artist is Shania Twain.

She still attends a day program in La Crescent at ABC Works. In April of 2018, she fell and broke her leg and ankle, which required a full cast on her right leg for 6-8 weeks, followed by a boot for 3-4 weeks. She then somehow broke the plate in her leg and had to go back to a full cast for two months. She has just recently begun walking again.

It can be difficult for parents to make the transition to a less hands-on life that have been on a journey like the one the Schwab’s have been on with Hannah. Hannah has adjusted well to her HCO home, while still spending time with her family each week and on vacations. In order to plan for all possible situations, Kim and Pete developed “Hannah’s Life Plan” – a three-ring binder that contains all the information, down to the smallest detail, that a new caretaker would need to keep Hannah happy and safe.

In a section entitled, “Hopes and wishes for Hannah,” they wrote:

“Even though Hannah is in an adult body, she will always be a young child. As Hannah’s parents, we have learned to accept this fact. However, Hannah is still a special person. It is sometimes said that the simplest things in life are what are most important. In Hannah’s case, the simple things in life are all that matter to her and this isn’t a bad thing. Hannah is always happy and willing to go along with pretty much anything. She has an easy-going personality and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. Hannah never cares what she looks like, and she never worries about money. She leaves most of life’s problems up to others, and she starts every day with the idea that it will be a good day.”

The Schwabs, generous contributors to HCO in the past, recently donated an accessible swing set and concrete walking path to Hannah’s house, which Hannah and her housemates are now enjoying.

by Katelyn Keller, Marketing Intern

Ballet Hispánico’s four-day residency in Winona included an adaptive dance workshop for Home and Community Options’ clients and support staff on October 2nd in the Blackbox of Saint Mary’s University Page Theatre.

Eduardo Vilaro, the artistic director of the company and former dancer himself, led the session with overflowing enthusiasm from the center of the room. He spoke with an upbeat voice that filled the black-walled space with evident passion. The session began with warm-ups, then simple movements such as lifting the left hand up, then “hiding” it, then the right, and “hiding.” This progressed to combining the movements of the hands, then to standing up and learning more moves such as the shimmy. Combinations of these movements led to dances such as the cha-cha.

Applause was abundant throughout, while learning a new movement, during combinations, and at the end of a dance. At one point, when everyone else had stopped, one lady was still going. Everyone was clapping for her as Vilaro noted her enthusiasm. This lady became Vilaro’s partner for demonstrations later on, and he often asked to more applause “Isn’t she great!”

The other dancers of the company also paired up with certain clients or danced with a group, interspersed throughout the room, with evident joy. A couple of the dancers interviewed after, Gabrielle Sprauve and Omar Rivera, both expressed their love for these sorts of interactions.

Rivera shared that one of the highlights of the touring experience is “going into communities and teaching and sharing the art of dance and especially Latin dance. It’s fun; they get to move their hips. They get to shimmy and just feel good. So it’s always good to make people feel good.”

Sprauve also expressed enthusiasm about such workshops. She described this one as a “treat.” and said that the company “appreciate[s] being able to do classes like this, and they’re so much fun.” She repeated, “They’re so much fun. Everyone that came had a blast and had an amazing partner. It was just a great time.” She thinks that one of the best parts of being in the company is the community outreach work, bringing people “some excitement, something different.”

A diverse age range participated, younger kids of middle-school age, as well as middle-aged and older people, some of whom were able to participate while seated in chairs, as well as a couple of others in wheelchairs. HCO staff pushed a young gentleman in a wheelchair so that he could fully participate in the spin. Other staff were guiding people through the movements. A total of at least thirty individuals supported by HCO attended, along with a number of HCO staff.

There was a refreshing lack of self-consciousness and awkwardness. As Rivera summarized, the experience was “really enthusiastic and [it was] fulfilling to see the community come together and just dance and enjoy the energy from each other.”

Mikayla Jonsgaard, one of the younger participants, said that she would do this again and that she had come because it’s fun. She likes dancing at home with music, having a preference for the pop genre. A current favorite of hers is “Panini” by Lil Nas X. Her favorite part of the class was learning the dance moves, and her favorite move being the shimmy, which she demonstrated.

One of the older middle-aged participants, William Arrick, also expressed his excitement about the session. He described the workshop as “the perfect dance” and mentioned that his favorite part of the class was the cha-cha. He then launched into a discussion about Elvis with various demonstrations. He regularly attends HCO’s Monday Adaptive Dance sessions.

In answer to the question of whether this class was much different from what his company usually does, Vilaro emphasized with enthusiasm, “No, no. No, we are,” and he gave a slight pause, then emphasized with further passion, “we are blessed to have the ability to do community work.”

Vilaro went on to give a brief background about the foundation of the company. During the ‘70s, Tina Ramirez had started the company for kids in the inner city of New York who wanted to avoid drugs and gang life. Ramirez trained these young people to become professional dancers. And so, Vilaro describes, “we are always focused on community and community interactions. So we do everything from this type of class to, you know, training dancers. It’s a wide, diverse amount of community service work.”

There is an immense cultural significance to the company as well, being deeply rooted in the Latino culture. The company’s purpose involves bringing individuals and communities together to celebrate and explore Latino culture through dance. The company aims to be a role model in and for the Latino community, inspiring creativity and social awareness. Vilaro said that everything he taught during this class had to do with the Latino culture.

Sprauve and Rivera made it clear how this heritage played a significant role in what drew them to the company. Sprauve said that she saw the company perform at the Joyce Theater and “fell in love,” and then auditioned in her senior year. She explained that she “really wanted to join the company just because for years [she had] been trying to find a place where [she] could connect with [her] culture but also could dance.” And, she concludes, “the best place was Ballet Hispánico.”

Rivera shared a similar story. He “fell in love with the company when [he] first heard of them.” A number of his friends who were students in New York City had seen the company perform at the Joyce and the Apollo. They told Rivera to look into the company. And so, Rivera dug for information about the company and “fell in love with the overall theme and aesthetic.”

The cultural aspect plays a major role in this class’ connection to Saint Mary’s. Theresa Remick, Managing Director of Saint Mary’s Performance Center, describes Saint Mary’s Page Series as something “really here to be able to connect the community, which we consider to be Winona and Saint Mary’s, to cultural experiences that aren’t here otherwise…. We’ve looked for things you wouldn’t otherwise see…. And frequently, that takes the lens of a company or artist who works in a cultural specific way.” She said that the department “really look[s] for ways to help Winonans and Saint Mary’s students have experiences that will expose them to other cultures, other lifestyles, as well as just really high-quality art.”

Remick met Vilaro many years ago when she was working for National Arts Strategies when Vilaro was in the chief executive program. She “remembered how wonderful [his company’s] work was and that was a lot of the reason why [Saint Mary’s] decided to bring [his company Ballet Hispánico] in.”

HCO has already partnered a number of times with Saint Mary’s, and Remick thought that Ballet Hispánico would be another good opportunity to do so. Remick said that ever since she’s been at Saint Mary’s (four and a half years, to date), she’s been working with HCO’s Events Coordinator, Lynette Johnson, and Communication Coordinator, Ashly Bissen, to develop additional ways to partner.

For this experience with Ballet Hispánico, Christine Martin, Saint Mary’s Dance Residency Coordinator, had contacted Johnson at the end of June about Ballet Hispánico coming to Saint Mary’s. Martin had asked if such a workshop would be something of interest to HCO. And this idea became a room overflowing with positive energy and community connecting through dance, which, Arrick said, “can change the whole world.”

Mary Rinn is a cute, silver-haired woman with a nice smile and a winning manner. She is 61 years old, going to be 62 on October 16, “but not 62 yet!” Her birthstone is pink tourmaline, which works out perfectly since her favorite color is pink. She grew up on a farm in Lewiston with lots of brothers and sisters. “Too many to count!” she says. Too many nieces and nephews to count, too. She enjoys spending time with her family. “They always spoil me,” says Mary.

On the farm, they had two dogs, Sport and Blackie. It was fun growing up there, she says. One time, her dad let her drive a tractor, and apparently once was enough. Her mother taught her a lot of things and was a good cook. Mary especially liked her mother’s homemade ice cream, “all kinds.” Her favorite ice cream now is chocolate and caramel mixed in a bowl.

Mary has lived at the 1452 program for quite a while, and she likes it there. She has her own bedroom, decorated in pink, and her own television. She even has a housemate who is also from the Lewiston area and was a classmate.

On a typical day she wakes up at 6 a.m., but she sometimes goes back to sleep until 7:30 when she has to start getting ready for work. A bus or a car comes to take her to ORC, where she works doing laundry. She likes folding the laundry the best, and she has a lot of friends she works with. One close friend at work is from Lewiston and knows all of the Rinns. It’s nice to have someone to hang around with on breaks, especially someone who is from her home area. Even though Mary is creeping up on retirement age, she says she isn’t ready to retire yet or even think about it.

After work, Mary is busy cleaning out her lunchbox, packing a lunch for the next day, and spending time on her stationary bike. She exercises every day, but isn’t much for outdoor exercise, preferring to stay inside.

Mary helps with some cooking, even though she is a picky eater. She doesn’t like spicy food, vegetables, eggs, or noodles. What she does like is all kinds of chicken. She likes chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and she also likes to drink Mountain Dew.

She enjoys shopping and going out to eat now and then, and her favorite restaurants are Texas Road House, Jefferson’s, and Culvers drive through. She also likes picnics, whether they are at the Levee, Prairie Island, or just in the back yard.

Mary says she has “zero” pets now, though she and her housemates like to get visits from Richard the Cat, who belongs to one of the staff.

Sometimes Mary will watch a movie with her housemates in the evening or watch her favorite shows on her television in her room. She likes game shows, everything Elvis, the movie “Grease,” and likes Hannah Montana songs. Her and one of her housemates are Vikings fans, and they often watch the games on TV. Mary went to a Vikings game once in the Twin Cities, and they won! “All for me!” she says.

With work, hobbies, and all of Mary’s interests, there is always something to do. She is always happy to spend time enjoying life close to her friends and family.

Diane Spalding (center), mother of Shane and Luke Spalding, who are both autistic.

Diane Spalding has two sons, Shane and Luke, who have received services from HCO over the course of their lives.

Shane, her older son, received in-home services when he was younger, as did Luke. When Shane was born, he had seizures due to a hemorrhage on the brain from the stress of labor. The doctors put him on powerful medications to control his seizures, but they came with their own downsides. It was almost impossible to gauge an infant’s daily drug levels and checks were only done every ten days to two weeks, so the risk of overdosing was a real concern. Fortunately, he was done with those treatments at nine months old.

When Shane was two years old, Diane took him to Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE), through the Winona Public Schools when she noticed that he was not speaking well. It was there that Gail Opatz connected Diane with Winona County Social Services and Diane heard about HCO. At the time, Luke was a newborn and appeared to be developing normally.

Diane learned that in order to receive services for Shane, she would have to have him assessed. They went to Gundersen Clinic, which at the time was the place to go for such assessments. Tests were done for three days, about six hours a day, Diane recalls. They tested speech, reactions to sounds, mobility, eye movement, everything. Once the results of the assessment came back, Shane was able to begin receiving services.

At about 15 months old, Diane began noticing that Luke was regressing. He stopped talking, stopped playing with toys, and wouldn’t look at his parents. Practically everything sent him into sensory overload. He didn’t want to keep clothes on. He was sensitive to heat, cold, and sound. He didn’t sleep well. His parents had to work hard just to be able to touch him. Diane contacted Gail again to have Luke assessed, and he began receiving HCO services when he was around two and a half. He remains non-verbal, except for a few words that you can understand if you know him well.

After a divorce, Diane became the sole caregiver, but had to return to work, so services for the boys were vitally important. Diane grew up in Dakota, where her family owned an apple orchard. Her family was large – ten brothers and three sisters. All but one of her siblings are older than Diane, so they were all involved with their own families when Diane was struggling with the boys.

The care offered by HCO meant that Diane was able to work to support Shane and Luke. When the boys went to bed, caregivers would be there to watch them when Diane went to work at 8 p.m. at the Red Men’s Club. She would return home late and get a few hours of sleep before the boys awoke around 4 or 4:30 a.m. She says she doesn’t think they even knew she left.

Life with two autistic toddlers wasn’t easy.  She was constantly tending to them, even more than is required for most toddlers. There were numerous appointments to keep and therapies nearly every day. Since the boys didn’t play with toys or entertain themselves with imaginative play like most toddlers, it was up to Diane to entertain them. Movement seemed to calm them so she would often take them outdoors. She would pull them in a wagon or on a sled, go for bike rides, anything physical that they could do or Diane could do for them. “If you take imaginary play away, there isn’t much else,” says Diane. There were times when she was outdoors with the boys in the morning when it was still dark out. She was tired most of the time. “But I have a lot of flower gardens, because we were outside all the time!” she says.

“Patience isn’t something you have, it’s something you grow.”
– Diane Spalding

Growing up, the boys got along well, though they had their moments. Shane is prone to repetition, and at times, just couldn’t stop picking on Luke. Luke’s response was to act out, sometimes becoming violent. Disciplining the boys was difficult because their acting out wasn’t intentional. They often couldn’t understand (and didn’t respond to) disciplinary tactics that typically work with most children.

“Some days,” says Diane, “you’d just have to ride it out.” At other times, she found it necessary to step outside and take a deep breath or two. When the two boys were both at home and receiving services, Diane shared that it sometimes felt like she had lost all privacy. There was always someone in the house. “It was hard,” she says, “and stressful.”

Shane has responded to treatment and therapy quite well. Now 24 years old, he works at HyVee five days a week for five hours a day. He has the functional level of a 13-15 year old, and leads an active, happy – if perhaps at times, lonely – life. He likes his job and feels that he is a productive member of the community. He is able to read and speak, but has limited interests and struggles socially. He is able to spend time comfortably with both his parents and still receives some services at home through Legacies. Diane says it always seemed Shane has been too advanced for many programs for people with disabilities, but not quite advanced enough to join more mainstream social activities. He does have a few friends he texts back and forth with, loves WWE wrestling, and would like to get married someday. He has a dog and two cats, adores animals, and would be at a complete loss without a pet.

Luke, on the other hand, was resistant to therapies. He wants people to understand what he is trying to communicate, but won’t use any of the communication devices available to the boys. The family’s first DynaVox, a device designed to assist individuals who are unable to communicate reliably with their own voices, came with a price tag of $10,000. The cost was not covered by insurance, so Diane had a fundraiser at work to pay for it. The second DynaVox cost less: $4,500, but Luke wouldn’t use it. He also would not use the Picture Exchange Communication System (PEC), in which the individual is able to hand out picture cards that relate to what the individual is thinking or wants to say. When the boys were in school, the family had to use four different iPads, since each had to stay at a designated place – school, home, therapy, and such.

As a child, Luke was prone to fevers and had violent outbursts.  As he matured into an adult – he is now over six feet tall – those outbursts became more difficult for Diane to handle. Once, he began acting out in the car, so he and a staff had to pull over. Diane was nearby and was on her way to assist when a county policeman saw them standing outside the car. When he stopped to make sure everything was okay, Diane was impressed to learn that county officers had been receiving training over the past few years on how to best support and diffuse situations for people with disabilities. The police officer asked how he could help without making the situation worse, and he was able to help Luke de-escalate without incident. He even escorted everyone back to the home to make sure that they got back okay.

After one particular episode four years ago that resulted in Diane becoming injured, the county called with the news that there was an opening in an HCO house that could be a fit for Luke.

“That was a hardest decision I’ve ever had to make,” says Diane. “I still cry.” She knew that he never meant to hurt her. “He has empathy,” she says, “he always feels bad after he has an outburst.” He knows some sign language, and if he hurt Diane he would sign “Sorry” over and over, start acting silly, seeking affection from her. Diane knows that his outbursts are generated from frustration and fear, not animosity.

Many people know Luke from the piles of brush and leaves he often takes with him while walking or biking in the community, and they often offer to help or just say hello. “We live in a truly generous community,” Diane says. “Everyone is so kind, and respects his differences.”

Despite the challenges, “I’ve never regretted staying in Winona,” Diane shared.  She says the behavioral therapist and some people with the school call him “Three Try Luke,” because it always takes him three tries to do a thing, but once he accepts the change, it’s okay. When Luke finally boarded the bus that took him to Woodland Hills, Diane knew that it was the moment she had to cut the cord. In order to help him get settled, she spent a few weeks away to give him time to adapt to the change.

Because Luke has difficulty with change, staff have used videos of Luke making transitions (for example, when he had to switch from middle school to high school) to get a better understanding of what triggers his outbursts. This helps those who are supporting Luke avoid similar triggers in the future, and as well as understand what behaviors are effective in helping calm him.

Over time, Luke’s outbursts have lessened. “It used to be that if he’d get worked up, he’d have to go all the way up before he could come down. He uses CBD oil to take the edge off, and now he can stop himself before he gets there.”

Though he doesn’t live with her anymore, Diane still sees Luke four or five times a week. He often comes to work with her, where he takes out the trash, turns on the lights, and helps her switch out the gambling machines. “He loves to have a purpose,” she says. “If you give him something to do, he’ll go and go.” He likes to play games and is a whiz at jig-saw puzzles. He comes to Diane’s house regularly to get his bike (where it is kept), and goes on bike rides.

Diane says Luke is “set” at his home with HCO and likes it there, but she is still working on the right solution for Shane. She wishes that there were more opportunities for Shane to socialize, and because he would like to continue living in their house but he isn’t able to be alone all the time, she’s looking for ways to help him to continue living at home.

In the meantime, Diane has met a loving and supportive man, Ed Urbick, and she continues to spend much of her time watching both her boys grow and work towards more independence.